![]() It was a surrender to the reality that her husband and daughter, her two most precious treasures in the world, were both gone and she had accepted it as her fate. To me, it was heartbreaking because it was nostalgic, and almost a tacit preponderance of a life gone by. The book is about the death of her daughter and is incredibly heartbreaking. I will say, however, that that same night I pulled Joan Didion’s “ Blue Nights” off the shelf and read the whole thing. That weekend in the desert was one of the most significant weekends of my whole life, and one day I’ll write about it, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet. Interestingly, after about a 3-4 month long period of darkness, I rediscovered my spirituality, which helped me pull myself out of it. But I recognize now that, for example, when I lost my job, I tried to “rise above it” and move on quickly and pretend I was fine and I wound up pushing down these feelings of confusion and unworthiness and they became depression. Whenever I get upset, I try to rise above it. Many people don’t even have the tools to come at it from that perspective. being like “okay, I feel this way, I’m going to let myself have this time and try to figure some stuff out in my own time?” It’s really hard to do that when you’re depressed. So where is the line or the boundary? Is it just the difference between wallowing and losing all faith vs. So I know from personal experience that depression is hard as shit, but if you look at it as a “dark night of the soul” and search for answers, and try as hard as you can to have faith that you’ll emerge when ready, you CAN grow from it.Īt the same time, I also believe in meditation, anti-depressants, exercise, etc. So why do we fear it? Is it because we don’t allow ourselves the modern mythology to understand it? We pathologize it as depression, and tell one another that something is wrong with us? Hibernation to process feelings is an inexorable part of the transformative process. During the time when it is in the chrysalis, it looks like nothing is happening. “Darkness” has come to mean “bad” or “evil,” when George is positing that a better word would be “misunderstood.”įor example: a caterpillar instinctively becomes a butterfly. ![]() Maiden to Mother to Crone to the void to Maiden. This process of transformation is also represented in the Tarot by the Death trump card, which signifies the transition from death to rebirth. I’ve been reading this book by Demetra George called “ Mysteries of the Dark Moon,” which is all about how we have erased or demonized the ancient goddesses of “darkness” (like Hecate, Kali, etc.) embodied in the three-day period of moonless night after the waning moon and before the new moon. ![]() You come out on the other side a different person. It would be weird if you WEREN’T upset or sad. Her point is that when something happens, like a breakup or a death in the family or loss of a job – it’s OKAY to feel feelings you guys. In general, the self-help genre seems to be all about learning to overcome and master negative emotions so that you can be happy.īut then… we also have self-help gurus like Marianne Williamson who, in her book “ Tears to Triumph,” argues that our culture is hell-bent on trying to avoid pain, when sometimes, we need to experience pain to grow. ![]() That’s the whole game.īut conversely, even those who seek Eastern-inspired modes of spirituality, focused on mindfulness meditation, fluidity and the relinquishment of control, are after an escape, it seems (I’m not trying to offend anyone – I might totally have it twisted, but I’m trying to work it out in my own head right now). ![]() Capitalism has us chasing happiness through goods and services we buy. If you think about it, that’s also Brené Brown‘s message, when she explains that people who are happiest are those who show up every day most “wholeheartedly” – willing to accept all parts of themselves and be vulnerable without shame.Įveryone is trying to be happy. I actually just read a Quartz article about this yesterday, which framed it in more laymen’s terms and didn’t mention Jung or anything: This idea is especially timely in our current culture, where happiness is currency. It is only when we accept them and integrate them into our Self that we can be whole. The Jungian school of thought says to embrace your shadow side – or your dark feelings. If you hang on to emotions or repress them, pretending they don’t exist, they can poison you from the inside and manifest as depression or like, rage blackouts.īut if you “express” them in the moment, you might act in a way that you’ll regret later. Or should I accept them and express them, and watch them dissipate? When I feel feelings, should I remain detached, mindfully examine them, and act from a place of higher understanding? ![]()
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